Thursday, November 12, 2015

Addiction Dictionary : Definitions of Common Addiction Terms


ADDICTION - 1. "Addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior/rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences."
2. LDSmag. com Addiction Definition:
Addiction exists when the repeated use of a mood altering substance or behavior (of any kind) has created a dependency on itself so intense that the person doing the behavior cannot find the will-power to quit, even when the behavior is causing serious damage to one’s relationships, health, employment, and personal sense of serenity and spirituality.
3. LDS. org Church Guide Definition:
Addiction is a persistent dependence on a harmful behavior or substance. It can disrupt the ability to listen to the Spirit and limit agency. Many who struggle with an addiction suffer from shame or a sense that they are unlovable. They may feel discouragement and despair that recovery is not possible. Yet with God, nothing is impossible"
(Note: *** Lack of fequency is not always an indicator of addiction. Acting out can be once a day, once a week, once a month, or even once a year etc. and still be an addiction)

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION -  1. Pornography addiction is a behavioral addiction characterized by compulsive, repeated use of pornographic material until it causes serious negative consequences to one's physical, mental, social, and/or financial well-being.         
  2. Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts
  3. A condition that has been defined as a psychological addiction to, or dependence upon, pornography, characterized by obsessive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual themes to the detriment of other areas of the viewer’s life
  4. Prolonged viewing or pornography - books, magazines, movies, or Internet pornography - that has destructive effects on the life of a person"

SEX ADDICTION - Is a term used for any addiction that is sexual in nature. Therapist Doug Weiss CSAT PhD states "Since pornography is sexual, we consider a person who is addicted to porn a sexual addict or sexual compulsive."
Includes but not limited to, sex, pornography, or masturbation addiction, prostitutes, brothels, voyeurism, or sexual fetish addictions etc etc

ACTING OUT - Intentionally seeking out any erotic and sensual stimulus, even if "accidental" at first. DEFINITE lines of acting out: Pornography, Masturbation, Infidelity, Emotional infidelity, Inappropriate relationships with opposite sex, Chatting, Flirting, Sex ad browsing, Forcing anyone to have sex (yes, even if it’s your own wife), & Massage brothels.

PORNOGRAPHY - 1. Any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. This includes scantily dressed women in bikinis, lingerie or revealing clothes, scantily dressed woman in comics, cartoons, or art, sexual content in books, risky material in movies, TV shows, phone apps, or games. For many men this also includes scantily dressed women at the gym, women's UFC fights, & the dancers during sports games.
2. LDS .org Church Definition of Pornography -
  "Pornography is any visual or written medium created with the intent to sexually stimulate. If the work was not intended to stimulate but nevertheless causes sexual arousal in an individual, it constitutes pornography for that person."
&
  "Pornography is any entertainment that uses immodest or indecent images to stimulate sexual feelings. So even a mainstream television program or advertisement can be pornographic. If images trigger sexual feelings in you, you should avoid them."
&
"Pornography by definition is the display of that which is obscene and licentious."
Elder C. Gary Bennett
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1977/06/i-have-a-question?lang=eng

MASTURBATION - 1. To stimulate yourself sexually. In other words, to have sex by yourself, with yourself.
2. Get sexual gratification through self-stimulation
3. Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse."
4. Erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.
5. Lds author Andrew Pippanne/Rowboat&Marbles Masturbation Definition:
"Masturbation is sex with self.Sex with self is sex with someone other than your husband or wife to whom you are legally and lawfully married.Therefore, masturbation is a violation of temple covenants."
6. Lds .org Spencer W Kimball:
" Masturbation is not physically necessary. There is already a way by which the male system relieves excessive spermatic fluid quite regularly through the nocturnal emission or wet dream. "
(***Note they use the word "usually" and not "always". Sexually stimulating oneself with, or without orgasm, is still masturbation.)

S.L.I.P -- "Sexual Sobriety Lost its Priority" - A slip is a one-time unexpected unplanned break in abstinence. Slips are significant events that call for immediate attention because they can easily lead to relapses. Since it is acting out in ones addiction it requires a restart in sobriety. (Learn more HERE)

RELAPSE - A relapse is the recurrence of symptoms of a disease or to resume acting out after a period of abstinence. Since it is acting out in ones addiction it requires a restart in sobriety. (Learn more HERE)


LAPSE - A lapse is somewhere confusingly in between. Since it is acting out in ones addiction it requires a restart in sobriety.

SOBRIETY - Sobriety is completely abstaining from acting out in one's addiction. (See Acting Out)

RECOVERY - 1. "A return to a healthy functioning state of mind, strength, or health" :
2. "A voluntarily maintained lifestyle characterized by sobriety, personal health and citizenship.” - The Betty Ford Institute
3. “Recovery from addiction is a process of change through which an individual achieves abstinence and improved health, wellness and quality of life.” - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
4. “A process of overcoming both physical and psychological dependence on an addiction with a commitment to abstinence-based sobriety” - American Society of Addiction Medicine (Learn more about what is/isn't Recovery HERE)

EDGING -  Arousing oneself without orgasming. Yourbrainonporn: "It's important to realize that sexual stimulation is by far the highest level of dopamine naturally produced. Dopamine is at its peak when on the verge of orgasming (edging). In the pre-Internet days, guys would usually masturbate, orgasm and be done with it - it might take 10 minutes or so. At orgasm, prolactin rises, which drops dopamine to baseline levels and inhibits its release. That normally spells some relief.
  Placing your foot on the dopamine gas, without ever hitting the brake (prolactin) results in a continuous state of cravings without satisfaction."


ADDICTION CYCLE Click HERE for a bigger picture.

ADDICT MODE -  An addict in "Mr Hyde" mentality who is defensive, blaming, passive aggressive, manipulating, lying, gaslighting, or vindictive etc etc.; When an addict let's their addiction take control and make decisions, and they seem as though they have tunnel vision.

DRY DRUNK - An term used for an addict that stops acting out in their "drug" of choice but whose behavior is the same dysfunctional behavior as if they were acting out.
"An alcoholic who is not currently drinking alcohol but is still following an irregular undisciplined lifestyle like that of a drunkard."  Dictionary.com

ADDICT-CENTRIC - Traditional treatment protocols have been what I call addict-centric, with partner treatment seen as necessary in support of effective treatment of the addict. The underlying belief here is that if the partner does well and can be supportive, the addict has a greater chance at success. However, the result of this well-intentioned focus on the addict, often results in:
    Neglect of the partner’s needs/ Neglect of symptoms of trauma/ Neglect of associated triggers, or reactivity, seen in survivors of severe stress or traumatic life events.
    Here are just a few examples of possible outcomes of this addict-centric approach with partners:
  - Waiting a year for disclosure, because “he is not ready” (although the partner needs the information to make informed decisions).
  - Receiving a disclosure without adequate preparation or on-going support for the partner
  - Labeling the partner as “co-addicted” simply based upon a relationship, among others.
http://drbarbarasteffens.com/partner-sensitive-sexual-addiction-treatment-a-needed-change/

HONESTY -    Truthful, sincere, free of deceit and fraud, unpretentious, morally correct, virtuous, candid, frank, open, forthright, ingenious, straightforward, plain speaking, matter-of-fact, upfront, aboveboard, genuine, honorable.  

ABUSE - 1. To treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way
2. Lds Church's view on Emotional, Physical, & Sexual Abuse: "Abuse is the treatment of others or self in a way that causes injury or offense. It harms the mind and the spirit and often injures the body as well. It can cause confusion, doubt, mistrust, and fear. It is a violation of the laws of society and is in total opposition to the teachings of the Savior. The Lord condemns abusive behavior in any form—physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. Abusive behavior may lead to Church discipline."
&
“Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body, but it can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear”
3. Elder James E. Faust: “Any form of physical or mental abuse to any woman is not worthy of any priesthood holder. … This, of course, means verbal as well as physical abuse”
4. Gordon B Hinckley: "We condemn most strongly abusive behavior in any form. We denounce the physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse of one’s spouse or children.
No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to hold the priesthood of God. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to be a member in good standing in this Church. The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the Church”
5. Lds .org: "The Church’s position is that abuse cannot be tolerated in any form. Those who abuse or are cruel to their spouses, children, other family members, or anyone else violate the laws of God and man. All members, especially parents and leaders, are encouraged to be alert and diligent and do all they can to protect children and others against abuse and neglect. Members who have abused others are subject to Church discipline. (Learn more HERE)

ADHD, ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVE DISORDER - It's extremely common for addicts to have ADHD and if left untreated it could prevent an addict from ever getting into long term Sober Recovery.
Research shows 70% of addicts have ADHD. Successful treatment of ADHD can hugely improve anxiety, depression, and one's urge to want to act out in their addiction. "Undiagnosed or untreated ADHD is associated with significant morbidity, including higher-than-expected rates of maladaptive behavior, family problems including divorce, problematic employment, substance abuse, motor vehicle accidents, and secondary mood and anxiety disorders."
Dr Kevin Skinner PhD @ Addo Recovery states:
"If they struggle with adhd,  then clearly that is something that needs to be addressed,  because the research shows that individuals dealing with sexual addiction are more prone to have ADHD,  and if they have untreated ADHD,  their success in Recovery is very limited."
&
   "I had an individual who was dealing with quite a bit of adhd,  and without anyone else in the past addressing that,  it was almost impossible for him to find any sort of success because (of) his ADHD behaviors. (Learn more HERE)

TRIGGER - To cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist./ An event that precipitates other events./ To set off; initiate.

TRAUMA - A deeply distressing or disturbing experience. We've all experienced trauma at one time or another. What makes a negative event traumatizing isn't so much the life-threatening nature of the event, but rather the degree of helplessness experienced and one's history of prior trauma. If we've adequately defended ourselves, our survival brain (amygdala) doesn't need to file the signals of a trauma as an ongoing fight or flight warning signal. But if we couldn't avoid the oncoming car, discovery of a loved ones affair, or being robbed at gunpoint  -- the brain remembers that experience as life threatening. (Learn more HERE)

PTSD, POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER -  A mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
2. Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as major stress, sexual assault,warfare, or other threats on a person's life. Symptoms include disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyperarousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event.
The diagnostic criteria for PTSD, stipulated in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems 10 (ICD-10), may be summarized as:
a.Exposure to a stressful event or situation (either short or long lasting) of exceptionally threatening or catastrophic nature, which is likely to cause pervasive distress in almost anyone.
b.Persistent remembering or "reliving" the stressor by intrusive flash backs, vivid memories, recurring dreams, or by experiencing distress when exposed to circumstances resembling or associated with the stressor.
c.Actual or preferred avoidance of circumstances resembling or associated with the stressor (not present before exposure to the stressor).
d.Inability to recall, either partially or completely, some important aspects of the period of exposure to the stressor.
e.Persistent symptoms of increased psychological sensitivity and arousal (not present before exposure to the stressor) shown by any two of the following: difficulty in falling or staying asleep, irritability or outbursts of anger, difficulty in concentrating, hyper-vigilance, exaggerated startle response.

EMDR, EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING - Treatment used for PTSD and trauma. Its a way of using both sides of the brain while recalling a traumatic event. It basically gets all the fear and gunk out of a past memory, so that when we talk or think about it later on, it doesn't bring up fear and trauma anymore. It can occasionally help someone remember a past trauma. It helped my husband remember his sexual abuse, and now he can easily talk about it.


"..During Emdr the conscious mind communicates with the subconscious mind, creating a safe environment to let go of the energy attached to stress or trauma."

It helps greatly with a wife's PTSD Betrayal Trauma. It ALSO helps with most sex addicts because many of them experienced trauma as a child, which is usually the CAUSE of their sex addiction or the reason they became addicted. 

Fix the CAUSE and fuel of the addiction (the trauma that produced debilitating negative core beliefs about themselves) and you will fix the effects of the addiction ie. Masturbation, porn, lust, negative behavior etc.

I like this video, putting it in cartoon form always makes it easier to understand 😁


FULL DISCLOSURE - 1. The action of making secret or new information known.
2. Structured confession wherein the addict takes full responsibility for everything that he or she has done in the way of acting out sexually. Often written down and prepared with a sponsor with step 4 and/or with a therapist, then confessed to a wife.

CO-ADDICT - A drug addict who is codependent with another drug addict. This label is occasionally used to describe a wife of a sex addict but is incorrect and outdated. The majority of wives of sex addicts are NOT co-addicts and instead have PTSD Betrayal Trauma.


CODEPENDENT - When 1 or both people in a relationship lack the ability to be independant. They are so insecure about themselves they SOLELY rely on others to feel secure because they can't give themselves what they need. This label is occasionally used to describe a wife of a sex addict but is incorrect and outdated. Statistically MOST wives are NOT codependent and instead have PTSD Betrayal Trauma. (Learn more about Codependency vs Betrayal Trauma HERE)

INDEPENDENT - The ability to function on your own. Free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.

DEPENDANT - Relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc. One example is of a child, not yet able to be fully independent, is dependant on a parent


INTERDEPENDANT - Two independent people come together in a healthy equally giving/supporting relationship.

ENABLE - To provide with the means or opportunity. Rescuing an addict by preventing them from experiencing too much pain/guilt/natural consequences of their actions which unwittingly helps the diease to progress to a worse stage by making it easier for the person with the addiction to continue in their destructive lifestyle. In most cases, enablers are well-intentioned and believe that their actions are beneficial to the addict. The addict knows that there is always someone there to support them despite the harmful things they do and feels they can get away with it because they can always talk their way back into the enablers trust.


BOUNDARIES - Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits a person establish's to protect themselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. Boundaries allow them to separate who they are, and what they think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. The presence of boundaries also helps us express ourselves as the unique individuals we are, while we acknowledge the same in others. It is the ability to communicate that we have priorities and a dedication to protect those priorities. Ie. "I love you. I need to be safe in my marriage and in my home. I am no longer willing to live in a home with unfiltered/unmonitored internet access". Boundaries are about what "I" need and will do. Not about what "you" need and will do. (How To Set Boundaries HERE)

D-DAY - Many wives refer to this as Discover Day, Disclosure Day, Destruction Day, Dooms Day, etc etc. It's the day that everything came crashing down. 

WOPA - Women Outing Pornography Addiction, OR, Wives Of Pornography Addicts. 

CSAT - Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

SHAME VS GUILT - Guilt is 'I made a mistake'. Shame is 'I am a mistake'.

DEBILITATING NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS - Things you know and things you believe that are true about yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks or feels about you. They are repeating pattern of thoughts created by our childhood, past and present experiences and over time can have a huge impact on our behaviors and choices and how we view the world. If you maintain a certain negative belief, two things will likely occur; first, you will likely behave in ways that consistently support that belief, and secondly you are likely to consistently create situations that reinforce the Core Truth that this particular Core Belief informs. Aka "Self Sabotage".


AFFIRMATIONS - Something declared to be true; a positive statement or judgment. Positive phrases which you repeat to yourself which describe how you want to be. The theory is that when you first start saying your positive affirmations, they may not be true, but with repetition they sink into your subconscious mind, you really start to believe them, and eventually they become your reality, they become a self fulfilling prophecy and actually become true. (More about affirmations HERE)

SEXUAL ANOREXIA/DYSFUNCTION - Sexual anorexia/Dysfunction is a term used to describe a form of sexual addiction that exists at the opposite end of the continuum from the hyper sexuality condition that is more commonly known as sexual addiction. While excessive and extreme sex is more easily understood as addictive, similar to an alcoholic’s excessive drinking and a food addict’s overeating, the extreme avoidance of sex can also be addictive. It is addictive because it exhibits the characteristics of addiction: compulsivity, living in the extreme, violating some of one’s personal values, being powerless to stop the behavior, and causing problems in the addict’s primary relationship. How some of these attributes of sexual anorexia work will be described further on in this discussion.
Dr. Doug Weiss posits his three criteria for the formation of anorexia:
-Sexual abuse
-Attachment disorder with the opposite sex parent
-Sex/pornography/lust addiction
(More about Sexual Anorexia HERE)

TOLERATE - "To allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of without interference; To accept or endure"

POLICE, POLICING - 1. Responsible for the prevention and detection of crime and the maintenance of public order.
     2. Maintain order and neatness 
     3. Maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws.
     4. Keeps order and enforces law, investigates crimes
     5. Regulation and control of the affairs of a community, especially with respect to maintenance of order, law, health, morals, safety, and other matters affecting the public welfare
     6.To observe and issue warnings or correctives regarding (Learn more HERE)

i-STATEMENTS - Dispute resolution conversation openers that can be used to communicate clearly and boldly about how we feel and how we want something to be, without putting the another person on the defensive. They are also used to acknowledge and take ownership of our own feelings. (Learn more HERE)

YOU-STATEMENTS - Help fuel defensiveness and emotional resistance. In extreme cases our partner feels so emotionally unsafe that he or she just shuts down like a nuclear power plant during a meltdown. At that point our partner won't hear another word we're saying. No progress is possible until the emotional meltdown has been contained, the nuclear emergency is over, and our partner once again feels safe. (Attention wives: Remember, you did NOT create their emotional unsafety and it is not your job to make sure they feel better. Their method of shutting down started long before they met you.)
* When... (tell what caused the feeling)
* I feel... (Insert feeling word)
* I want... (tell what you want to happen instead).
"If an I-Statement contains You-Statements, it can be counterproductive and may not work efficiently in conflict situations. For example the formula: "I feel..., when you..., and I wantyou to..." This can put the receiver of the I-statement on the defensive and could come across as blaming."

LYING, VARIOUS TYPES - 
Lying by omission 
Also known as a continuing misrepresentation, a lie by omission occurs when an important fact is left out in order to foster a misconception. Lying by omission includes failures to correct pre-existing misconceptions. When the seller of a car declares it has been serviced regularly but does not tell that a fault was reported at the last service, the seller lies by omission. It can be compared to dissimulation.
Misleading and Dissembling:
A misleading statement is one where there is no outright lie, but still retains the purpose of getting someone to believe in an untruth. "Dissembling" likewise describes the presentation of facts in a way that is literally true, but intentionally misleading.
Half-truth:
A half-truth is a deceptive statement that includes some element of truth. The statement might be partly true, the statement may be totally true but only part of the whole truth, or it may employ some deceptive element, such as improper punctuation, or double meaning, especially if the intent is to deceive, evade, blame or misrepresent the truth.
Minimization:
Minimization is the opposite of exaggeration. It is a type of deception involving denial coupled with rationalization in situations where complete denial is implausible.
Pathological lie
In psychiatry, pathological lying (also called compulsive lying) is a behavior of habitual or compulsive lying. Pathological lying has been defined as "falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, may be extensive and very complicated, and may manifest over a period of years or even a lifetime". The individual may be aware they are lying, or may believe they are telling the truth, being unaware that they are relating fantasies.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where false information is presented to the victim by a spouse or another primary attachment figure, causing the victim to doubt his or her perceptions, judgments, memories, and even sanity. Gaslighting is particularly effective when coupled with other tactics such as shaming, blaming and guilting. Anything that aids in getting another person to doubt their judgment and back down will work.
Big lie
A lie which attempts to trick the victim into believing something major which will likely be contradicted by some information the victim already possesses, or by their common sense. When the lie is of sufficient magnitude it may succeed, due to the victim's reluctance to believe that an untruth on such a grand scale would indeed be concocted.
Contextual lie
One can state part of the truth out of context, knowing that without complete information, it gives a false impression. Likewise, one can actually state accurate facts, yet deceive with them. To say "Yeah, that's right, I ate all the white chocolate, by myself," using sarcasm, a form of assertion by ridiculing the fact(s) implying the liar believes it to be preposterous.
Deflecting
Avoiding the subject that the lie is about, not giving attention to the lie. When attention is given to the subject the lie is based around, deflectors ignore or refuse to respond. Skillful deflectors are passive-aggressive people, who when confronted with subject choose to ignore and not respond. 
Dismissal
A dismissal lie can be one of the trickiest ones. Dismissing feelings, perceptions, raw facts of a situation as a kind of lie that can do damage to a person just as much as any other lie. Many mental disorders are linked to dismissal lies because they are dismissing their reality. When done within families, many children start out with a clear sense of reality, but then slowly start to loose their grasp due to meticulous and methodical dismissal. While some may not realize that just dismissing something can be considered a lie, if you dismiss something too often you are trying to change reality into something it is not, causing your attention to be focused elsewhere and could be hurting others as more or more than a simple white lie.

INNER CIRCLE / RED LIGHT behavior is acting out behaviors a person wants to refrain from in ones addiction (looking at pornography, chatting with women, masturbating, shopping for prostitutes etc etc)

MIDDLE CIRCLE / YELLOW LIGHT Behavior is the behavior that usually leads UP to acting out and feeds into the addiction. Yellow Light Behaviors can be dangerous and could be anything like mindlessly browsing online with no purpose (browsing pictures, funny videos, random news articles, Facebooking, pinterest, etc), being stressed without talking about it, idleness, boredom, isolation (my husband used to isolate by using video games, fantasy books, hobbies...or basically anything that took up allll his focus and left him kinda zoned out afterward instead of happy and uplifted), defensiveness, lying, watching too much sports, blaming, self loathing, not communicating true feelings etc....

..the list goes on and on and on

OUTER CIRCLE / GREEN LIGHT behaviors are healthy behaviors like Honesty, Recovery Work, reaching out, vulnerability, self parenting, self analyzing, taking responsibility for actions and owning them etc


12 STEP MEETINGS - Clarification of the different types of 12 Step programs -
- ARP & PASG Addiction Recovery Program/Pornography Addiction Support Group - 12 step Prepared by LDS Family Serv. and published by the LDS church. No official sponsor program, members find sponsor themselves. 1 yr sobriety to become facilitator.

- ARP or PAFS Pornography Addiction Family Support group: 12 Principles prepared by LDS Church. For women only. No official sponsor program. (*these are my favorite meetings for us wives now that they have a new manual)

- 90 Day Program / ARPSupport - Founder of the 90 day program. Started by a bunch of lds addicts. NOT a part of the church. NOT created by the church. Uses the church's ARP guide. Gives men sponsors. Requires only 90 days sobriety to become a sponsor. (**not the same thing as SA's 90 meetings in 90 days, ie. "90 in 90")

- SA Lifeline - 12 step Started by Rhyll & Steven Croshaws. Uses SA white book manual but incorporates God. Members find their own sponsors. Sobriety Definition (slightly different than SA's) :
“Sexual sobriety for sexaholics of our type means no sex with ourselves and no sex with any partner other than the spouse. And progressive victory over lust." & "For the power of the 12 groups they cannot access pornography or masturbate."

- SA Sexaholics Anonymous 12 Step: Uses SA White Book manual. Sobriety Definition: “No sex with ourselves and no sex with any partner other than the spouse. And progressive victory over lust."  Provides sponsors. Requires 1 yr sobriety to become a sponsor.

- SLAA Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous 12 Step: Member creates own sobriety definition: Identifies the addicts Bottom Line behaviors and defines sobriety on abstinence from those.  Provides sponsors.

- SAA Sex Addicts Anonymous 12 Step: Member creates own sobriety definition: Identifies compulsive behavior and abstains from those. Provides sponsors. They use "The Green Book" as a manual.

- HTC Healing Through Christ - Christ Centered 12 step manual/meetings. NO IDEA who started it (anyone know?). Not lds church affiliated.

- L.I.F.E. Recovery 12 Step. Christian based. AWESOME: Uses their own manual.
Sobriety means no sex with self, no sex with anyone outside of marriage, no pornography, and no fantasy.
L.I.F.E. Recovery Definition of Sobriety for Sexual Addicts:
   -“no sex with self” primarily means masturbation but may include any activity or behaviors that are intended to induce sexual arousal (with or without the intention of producing an orgasm) without any direct assistance from another person.
   -“no sex with anyone outside of marriage” primarily means the act of coitus (or intercourse) taking place with anyone before being married, while engaged (to include the betrothed), or separated, but may include any activity in which orgasm may or may not be achieved.
   -“no pornography” primarily means media based imagery or peep shows, strip clubs or any other establishment or service that provides anything sexually visual but may include anything used to induce sexual arousal.
   -“no fantasy” means any deliberate and sustained thoughts or mental preoccupation about sex for the express purpose of becoming aroused.



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