Saturday, September 24, 2016

Cause of Addiction

Addiction Tree

The CAUSE of Addiction

Addiction Tree

5 comments:

  1. Where is the entitled , proud , arrogant branch ?
    I firmly believe most addicts begin with these painful beginnings , but ALL humans have one or more of these situations and not ALL people choose hurtful addictions for themselves .
    Out of the arena of entitlement comes the thousands of excuses the addict continues to live by to keep the addiction . My humble opinion only . Some addicts choose to continue to hurt and abuse their loved ones by a conscious choice , all while ample help is available . This is no longer a place for sympathy , but consequences .

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    1. All humans may have experienced one or more of these situations, but not all humans have experienced all of these situations. Many addicts have experienced all of it. Many humans experience trauma and neglect as adults. Most addicts experienced it in childhood. What other factors were going on in the lives of those who self medicate by acting out in their addictions, as opposed to those who cope with trials in healthy ways? None of us in a position to judge why one becomes an addict while another does not.

      Compassion and boundaries are not mutually exclusive. We can have compassion for those suffering from addiction while still enforcing boundaries to keep ourselves safe. The addict is responsible for getting him/herself out of addiction. When we attempt to punish them with consequences, we are making ourselves responsible for their addiction/recovery. We are responsible for enforcing our own boundaries, not to punish them, but keep ourselves safe. If we respect ourselves, we will be fully capable of being compassionate and enforcing boundaries at the same time.

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  2. Who's giving sympathy?

    Pride is on there. I wish I had enough space to fit every bad behavior on a branch :( But for simplicity I just put the basics.👍

    Arrogance and entitlement both stem from pride. Pride stems from insecurity and fear. Pride and arrogance are only smoke screens for how small a tiny they feel.

    This tree doesnt justify an addicts behavior. I'm not going to give an addict power by turning them into a "big bad wolf". Focusing only on their arrogance and pride and entitlement does just that, and how would that help me? Yes, addicts sometimes purposefully hurt people and they do evil awful things, I hate it. But I don't see them as the powerful villains who are out to get ME or destroy everything and everyone in their path. They don't deserve that title.

    I see addicts as powerLESS. I see addicts as sad and insecure and TERRIFIED. They loath themselves so much they aren't even willing to get help sometimes. Understanding WHY they do the things they do helps me to know without a doubt that their choices have NOTHING to do with me. And knowing it's not about me helps me strengthen my own boundaries and stand up for myself and not give them power by building them up into scary powerful villains.


    I wish I knew for sure why some traumatized people turn into addicts and some don't. There could be a million reasons. Its impossible to know for sure without knowing everyone's life story. But I think it's a great question to ask and is worth looking into!!! 💖

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    1. The tree is very helpful. I see the entitlement which breeds arrogance , etc. As more of a root , not a branch . I have found a few , rare , psychologists who can see that some who produce the FRUIT of addiction do not come into it from an insecure , traumatized childhood background , but a heady place of being given far more praise than their character deserved , at a young age it helps to create severe narcissism . Some narcissists truly reach the place where nary an insecure thought crosses their mind ...I do not share the opinion that the " addict is not out to get me ."
      I do not " build them into a villain " , I believe some are . Although sex addiction is not the primary issue with them . It took years to see this as reality in my situation , trying to trust and believe far too much was what hindered this . How can Hitler , kidnappers , mass murderers not be villains , at best ? Even if these actions never manifest I believe God can see a heart that is void of empathy , humility , and full of vengeance , hate , power , pride ..there are people who have allowed Satan to fully control them , some at a young age . And are highly skilled pretenders and fakes . Not grasping this had greatly hindered my recovery . Boundaries are not about punishing , they are for me and safety . God has placed authorities in our country who place punishments , consequences, whatever you choose to label it . They do not see themselves , nor do we see them as victims but carrying out justice . I am not the judge , God is . I am discerning though , finally , that some ARE out to get you and me. we have a military for this reason . My boundaries and choices are my military for myself . The more aware I become of the enemy within the safer I am . His addictions are not about me , but I have to handle his retaliations for confronting his sins. It is clear many , probably most addicts are sad , lonely , terrified , but I do not believe all. The addict in my life was surrounded by love , acceptance and forgiveness , by all including me. Time after time he used it and spits in my face , like the enemy who laughs at the one who helps him up , then shoots him . Knowing this doesn't make me the victim .it makes me smart .

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  3. What an interesting way to show this path. Thanks for sharing!

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