tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125950879300674244.post9221199630078274091..comments2023-03-25T05:49:26.326-07:00Comments on Help For Victims Of Betrayal Abuse : To Filter or Not Part 2 : Is Computer Monitoring For Safety or Control?Makemyburdenlighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08272103698183036082noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125950879300674244.post-10908208538051594282014-11-11T15:01:32.510-07:002014-11-11T15:01:32.510-07:00This was a great take on this ! Was very helpful. ...This was a great take on this ! Was very helpful. I appreciate the comments also from a male addict perspective . There is a very highly paid marriage counselor who actually ( SHOCK !) feels strongly there is nothing wrong with monitors on any device a spouse uses. His statement is if there is nothing to hide why are you bothered ? I don't know that I would want him to read all my mail , but then maybe that would be very healthy. At least to be fine with who and when . Thank you for speaking into this delicate and controversial topic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125950879300674244.post-31544381683000741082014-11-11T00:49:59.582-07:002014-11-11T00:49:59.582-07:00Me again, got something to add......sorry.....
So ...Me again, got something to add......sorry.....<br />So yeah, put those filters up. And what if my mom had a monitoring program and could look and see why this was happening. Could she have influenced my life for the better by finding out what I was doing and confronting me about it, or at least telling my bishop? I'm not blaming my mom at all. I don't hold her at any fault in this. I chose to look at it and chose to continue looking at it. But for the teen, the young adult, and those who might be just starting into this drug, isn't it our duty to protect them, even if it causes eye rolls and muttering when they cant go to some website, or download all the apps they want? YES. So forget about the husband. I mean, I believe you've got every right to monitor your husband just because he's an addict and you can't trust him, but lets just dump him to the curb and think about your children, think about YOU. This is for YOUR benefit. This is for your children's benefit. That's just meAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11212780660642238124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125950879300674244.post-24268665549963589592014-11-11T00:49:05.753-07:002014-11-11T00:49:05.753-07:00As the addict in my home, I also agree. I know tha...As the addict in my home, I also agree. I know that the wives of addicts are said to go overboard and if they have monitoring programs and filters on the computer they can make the addicted husband's life a little crazy. I say GOOD, HOW DOES IT FEEL!?!?!?! haha, but seriously, the wife has been living with the consequences of the husband for who knows how long,and now she has the ability to check and make sure nothing is going on, she's going to be checking it every day or even every few hours at first. The husband addict (I believe) should submit to this. Because, lets be for real here, he's dangerous. Is he physically carrying around a broadsword and stabbing the wife and children when no one is looking, no, not literally. (and who knows, maybe in some cases that DOES happen.) But pornography is more dangerous and deadly than a sword. It's more deadly and can be more easily caught than the common flu. We all know how fast sicknesses spread in the nursery at church, this is just as quick. It taints everything just as fast. Do you all remember that old seminary video about the clean 80's style pure white house,and these people come in dressed in black, and whatever they touch leaves oily black sludge and smears? Its COMPLETELY like that. That movie freaked me out, and its sad to think that I am one of those tar people. I don't conceder my wife's monitoring to be an infringement on me. I was the one who was supposed to keep the home safe and secure, and I let the monsters in. I gave them piggy back rides and carried their luggage, it wasn't a simple mistake of leaving the door unlocked. So should I have the right to remain the protecter of the home? My wife doesn't trust me, (and has good reason) and I failed. So should she do all she can to protect the home? Absolutely. Even if we were divorced and I was gone and she wasn't dating or didn't get remarried, she'd still be monitoring what came into her home,and thats her right and she has good reason. I'm also the child of a porn addict. It was brought into my home before I can even remember. In fact, I don't remember a time when it wasn't in my home in one form or another. My parents got divorced and we moved away. We got cable and my mom set up a guard on it that wouldn't let me watch rated R movies or anything worse. Did porn still enter the home? Yes. My older brother brought it over. I could still find it on TV in various forms. When I was getting ready to go on a mission and moved in with my mother again, she had a computer with internet access. I'd never had full access before. What did I do? I ended up looking at pornography online for the first time. I didn't even mean to at first. How much would filtering have helped? for the ignorant/innocent me in the beginning? I'm not sure. I was already addicted so I would have eventually found a way around it, but guess what else, my mom and sisters used that computer too. Was it alright for them to run into pornography to because I'd searched it so much that it pop ups would explode out of nowhere? No. It's not. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11212780660642238124noreply@blogger.com